Kuih Lapis is a traditional Malaysian dessert made of soft, steamed layers — each one poured thin, steamed, and set just enough to hold before the next goes on top, until they build into these pink-and-white stripes. It’s a slow kind of baking, more waiting than doing: pour a layer, steam it, check it, wait for it to set just right so it won’t bleed into the next one, then start all over again. I won’t pretend the timing was easy. A few layers came out too soft, a few I rushed because I got impatient, and it took more tries than I expected before I found any kind of rhythm for it. But watching the stripes stack up one at a time, knowing each one meant I’d gotten a little closer, made all the fussing worth it. It came together better than I’d hoped.

When I asked my dad what he wanted for his birthday this year, the honest answer was that there wasn’t much I could actually give him — I’m so far from home right now, further than I’d like to be for a birthday. So instead I wanted to find a way to bring a little piece of home back to him anyway, even if it only came in the shape of a few striped pieces of kuih on a plate. It’s not the same as being there, but it felt like the closest thing I could offer from this far away.

happy birthday, Dad 🎂